Man Bun & Beard Intervention: We Think You Have a Problem...

It was 3 years ago... I was fresh out of a six year relationship where the girl hated all kinds of facial hair. So I figured it was high time that I grew the Manliest Beard I could Muster.

Let it be known I wasn't growing this Ironically. As a champion MMA fighter I wanted to look like a goddamned badass.... Like I did nothing but wrestle bears in a mountain cave for three months in preparation for the fight. But I still had to get laid right? So what to do with the hair not on my face?

I took to Pinterest and looked up styles. The pompadour seemed to work well, Retro Sheek and managed fairly easy.

Flash forward to Fight Night... I Cant wear hair product in the cage and I can't let it dangle in my face... What's a warrior to do? The girl I was dating offered to tie it up with her hair tie... And Thus, The Man Bun was Born.

I didn't know the "Man Bun" was a thing. As a Martial Arts Dork I thought it looked like a Samurai Top Knot... So I kept it. But that's how addiction starts, very subtle... very innocent. The Ladies loved it, On Instagram All I had to do was "#Beard" and "#Tattoos" and I was at 200 plus likes. I remember now the words from Macklemore and Ryan Lewis in "Neon Cathedral":

"But Yeah, I'm a Fool and I Stay Here,

Hope These Problems Drown Themselves 

While I Die in Wait Here,

One More, Four more, Fuck it a Night Cap,

Service Starts at 5 Tomorrow and I'll be Right Back."

I've never rode the cutting edge of a trend before. This new Female Aphrodisiac known as the Man Bun & Beard consumed my life. I followed people on Insta and Twitter for "BEARDspration"... Retweeting Memes like the following:

Then things started to change... Like when you purchase a car, and all the sudden you see tons of the same make and model on the road; EVERYONE seemed on this train. People popping up left and right Man Bun and Bearding their ways through Bars and Watering Holes... Carrying butterfly knives that open to Beard Combs and talking about Whisky scented Beard Oil as if it wasn't just your wife's Leave in Conditioner.

"It's Okay... I don't have a Problem. 

It's them, Not Me."

I signed the contract for my Utah State Welterweight Championship fight. Got in league with my MMA Conditioning Coach Nikki Carlin and Wrestling Coach Marc Brewer of University of Grappling in Lindon Utah. This was a wrestling camp that works with UFC fighters and oddly enough... Short hair styles everywhere.

"It's okay though, It'll be inconvenient... 

But I could manage."

Coach Nikki Carlin is somewhat of a lifting Phenom... I went to a cross fit event with her and there it was. The Mecca for Beards and Buns... Rock bottom hit when I saw a spectator (Not a competitor) wearing Reebok Nanos, A shirt claiming "Your work out is my warm up", He had Neon high socks with a Man Bun.... All the while combing his beard.

I was physically ill. Is this me? Is this what people see me as? Here I was prepping for the biggest fight in my career so far, dealing with Long Hair in my face and Beard Hair being ripped out at the root in training, and for what? To look like THAT guy?

It was my lowest level. The Man Bun & Beard had robbed me of my physical and mental health and worse... self-respect.

"The First Step in the Recovery Process 

is Admitting you have a Problem."

I went home with a pear of shears in tow and rectified the process. High and tight in the head and exposed chin on the cheeks. Training and life, Became that much easier. Then this happened:

I survived the Man Bun & Beard... I'm here to tell you that you can too. I know you think about it all the time, but you're afraid. What if you're friends stop liking you? What if they regard you as a quitter or a hypocrite? Well like with any addiction, if your old network doesn't support your new life? Then your old friends need to be cut off.

"You are not Defined by your Catagen Hair Follicles... 

But by your actions in the Now"

Rebuilding Social Networks is one of the hardest parts of overcoming addiction... but it IS possible. I am living proof.

Get rid of the Man Bun & Beard... Your Family wants you back... They love you... and you're worth it.

Mike O'Laskey is a Welterweight Champion MMA fighter and Owner of The O'Laskey Academy of Martial Arts in Burbank, CA.

www.olaskeyma.com

1312 W. Magnolia Blvd 
Burbank Ca
91506

818-480-7810
olaskeyma@gmail.com