UPDATE: My School is Offering a Fall Special! 6 weeks for $69 and a FREE Uniform!
Details Here: http://www.olaskeyma.com/#!trial-offer/c2q4
As A Child, I was deathly afraid of losing. It wasn't so much the actually "Not Winning" I was worried about, I didn't like the idea of being confronted with the fact that I may not be as good as I envisioned myself to be. Additionally, I didn't like others to see for themselves that my talent might not be up to par with what they perceived.
As a result, I lived my life up to the age of 30 only half committing to anything I wanted. Whether it be my Job, My Relationship or straight down to my beloved hobby... The Martial Arts. I avoided competition in nearly all forms saying to myself:
"I can't lose if I don't play the game"
At 30 years old, a notion grabbed hold of me that only the milestone of age can bring. The concept that if I don't begin cage fighting NOW, I may never have the opportunity to experience it ever again. This fear of missing out on this experience luckily overwrote my fear of losing and I began the journey.
As of this writing, I am the Current Steelfist Welterweight Champion... With a Record of 5-2.
"My Two Loses... Are at Once Both
the Worst Experiences, And the Best Things
to have Ever Happened to Me."
And that is the point of this post. Losses are terrible experiences. There is no denying that. I almost feel that it is worse as a parent watching what failure does to our child, than it is for the child themselves. But just because something is difficult... Does not mean its our job to "Save them" from it.
My first loss in MMA was especially difficult. I was undefeated, soaring high in my self perceived value. I thought I was strong physically... and near unstoppable in all areas. And then THIS happened:
It was heart wrenching. I had everyone from family to students drive over 1000 miles to come an see me win this belt. We had planned an epic celebration weekend and in 10 minutes... it was ruined.
I thought I knew what sacrifice was... I thought I knew was Conditioning was... But I was proved to be wrong. In that moment, I knew if I wanted this, that I would have commit to putting myself in uncomfortable situations during my strength and conditioning courses.
Would that course adjustment and recommitment have happened had I been given a participation award? Furthermore, Would I have learned that lesson had I won?
In my second loss I was steadfast in displaying my commitment. I committed to a fight at 145lbs (Mind you I am the Current 170lbs Champion) The cut to make weight took nearly 24 hours to complete and was one of the more difficult things that I have accomplished. My previous lost taught me that if you want something... You have to bury your head and grind it out. I wrestled with people I was comfortable with, whom made me feel awesome and ready to take on the world... and then this happened:
The massive cut played a big role. But in this fight, I was dominated on the ground. When I wrestled in training, the constant fear of failure and being thought of as "not good" lead me to wrestle with people who didn't make me better as an athlete.
I was furious. In the weeks to come I became a different person. I contacted the Venue Myself and Demanded a title fight at Welterweight (A Weight Class I was still undefeated in). After that I Contacted Marc Brewer of University of Grappling in Lindon Utah (Link >>HERE<<). This particular gym is part of a camp that trains UFC Athletes, I was terrified.
Here I am... the Kid afraid to fail and in the following three month camp it was 3 hours a day 5 times a week of being thrown around and put on my ass. 3 hours a day of failing.
I was sore and sad most nights. I not only felt out of my league... I felt I sucked. There were some nights I came home holding back tears, Trying to convince myself it was due to the physical pain... Not the inner turmoil I was suffering.
Fight day came and I didn't feel much better. All this hardwork and sacrifice put even more pressure on me. If I felt bad about my losses before? How am I going to feel if I happens again? I remember that night in Salt Lake City. The winds were so bad it knocked out all the power in the City... the Venue was in a frenzy trying to restore it. I thought subtly in my head "If the power doesn't come back on... Then I don't have to fight... Maybe thats a good thing."
Sure enough an hour later the power kicked back on... we wrapped my hands and walked towards the cage, Brovado as false as I can muster it... and then this happened:
The point of this story is to express my honesty. I never would have learned what it took to be a Champion had I never lost that first fight. In fact, I probably never would have continued fighting.
"Because of my losses,
I learned Commitment.
I learned Sacrifice.
I learned how to take control
and demand what I was worth"
Participation awards do just the opposite. I wish I had the guts to have these experiences earlier in my youth... I'd likely be further along in life.
That is why at my Martial Arts Academy, There are no participation awards... there are no belts that will be awarded that a child didn't earn. Because I will not sacrifice teaching your child positive life skills... So that they can feel good about themselves for the next two hours. Click >>Here<< if you wish your child to join!
Mike O'Laskey is a Welterweight Champion MMA fighter and Owner of O'Laskey Martial Arts in Burbank, CA.
1312 W. Magnolia Blvd Burbank Ca
91506
818-480-7810
olaskeyma@gmail.com
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